Marriage Traditions: The Typically Untold Story

By: Anika Repole Wilson

When I was getting married, I became fixated on the idea of understanding why and how certain wedding traditions came about. I just simply needed to know, and it became my prerogative to make an informed decision when planning my wedding in regards to which traditions I wanted to keep or not for my own ceremony, rather than just going all the way blindly. 

So if there are more brides like me, to save you some time, I’ve compiled them all. Take a gander at the following roots of our everyday wedding traditions. Some originally were not so flattering to the institution of marriage that we have come to know now, having evolved over thousands of years.

• Did you know that the concept of Marriage first introduced itself as a solution to quell disagreements between tribes? It was also a means to exchange property.
• Another olden fact is that the ‘Groom’s Men’ were usually the best and strongest warriors in the village and would accompany a ‘Groom’ to the rival village or tribe to kidnap the ‘Bride’ of his choice.
• Bridesmaids originally dressed identically to the Bride on her wedding day for the purposes of acting as decoys and protecting the real bride from both physical and spiritual harm placed upon her by the groom’s village.

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• The reason why the bride actually stands on the groom’s left during the ceremony with his groomsmen close was because he needed his sword hand (typically right hand) free to fight if any persons objected to the marriage. Puts a whole new concept to the statement of “speak now or forever holding your peace” now doesn’t it?!
• The concept of a Honeymoon, actually comes from an ancient tradition where the bride was sequestered and fed a concoction of honey ale to keep her docile during the first cycle of her moon – menstruation. Keeping her docile and essentially drunk meant that the groom was able to copulate more easily and impregnate her – this would be the only way to ensure peace from her still angry tribe for her initial kidnapping.
  
• “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence (or lucky penny – in our case $20 coin) in her shoe”. This little rhyme originated in Europe it seems during the late 1800s. Nowadays we have assimilated and assumed new meanings for each item, but apart from the obvious suggestion of the promise of wealth placed in her shoe and something new representing her new life ahead of her, the other three items’ original meanings may bewilder you.  The something old and blue actually were for the purposes of protecting the bride from the ‘Evil Eye’, a curse jealous onlookers would place on her typically for her to be barren. Now here is the humdinger. The ‘something burrowed’ usually referred to an item (typically clothing) that another woman who has been blessed with many children owns. Many times the something burrowed (brace yourself) was this bountiful and prosperous woman’s underwear.
  
• Flower Girl and the throwing of flower petals or rice: Speaking of fertility, the use of children in wedding ceremonies were to signify fertility and as a matter a fact the throwing of petals for the bride to walk on was first preceded by throwing breadcrumbs, which once again represented prosperity to our ancestors. The same goes for rice, which is usually thrown at the end of the ceremony – this was preceded by the throwing of other food or even fruit, but considering the danger of being hit in the head with a loaf of bread, the items thrown became smaller. Since the discovery that the rice was actually also killing birds that were unable to digest it, it was recently replaced by the blowing of bubbles and in more elaborate ceremonies the releasing of doves. In my case, we had our guests release butterflies.
  
• The wearing of the Veil: This one is very straightforward. A bride wore her veil originally to represent her subservience to her groom. A veil that was worn at the back of the head (head covered but without face covered) represented that the bride understood the balance needed between both her and her husband, but that she was his equal.
  
• White Wedding Dress: Though not the first royal to be married in white, Queen Victoria is credited with this fashion statement. Married at a time when colour was more common place for a wedding day, the monarch chose to wed in a heavy white satin gown with lace highlights, including her veil. This sparked a trend with the aristocrats of the time and so started the western trend of being wed in white. Eastern brides have still to this day enjoyed a rainbow of colours for the wedding dress. Western brides are now catching on, shifting from stark white gowns to shades of ivory and champagne or combos of complimentary colours to go with their bridal party and the occasional bride who just does it her way fully in another hue on the colour wheel entirely.
  
• Wedding March: The famous piece of music composed by Richard Wagner, known to many of us as “Here comes the Bride” along with another lovely composition called the “Wedding March” typically played at the end of a wedding composed by Felix Mendelssohn is once again credited to Queen Victoria, who had both of these pieces of ‘modern’ music of her time played before and after her wedding ceremony to Prince Albert in 1840.
  
• Tying the knot: This term, comes from the Celtic tradition of hand-fastening. Where during the ceremony the couple’s marriage would be signified by the tying of a joining rope on a wrist of both the bride and groom. The rope would stay in place for the day, some suggest even longer.  On my wedding day, we did a version of this rather than the typical candle lighting or sand ceremony. Prior to the start of the wedding we both wore separate ribbons representing our previous lives apart that we each symbolically removed from each other, then were joined by a single cord at our wrists signifying our newly formed union.  The ribbons and cords we of course coordinated to my wedding colours. 
• Throwing the bouquet: The tradition of bouquet throwing and the garter toss, were started as a literal diversion. Prior to this, persons wishing to earn the same luck and blessings as the new bride, would attempt to strip the bride of pieces of her clothing for luck! So in an attempt to get away the custom of throwing the bouquet came about, along with the garter which was an even more potent symbol of prosperity for persons as it was closest to the bride’s….umm… ladybits. Throwing one, then the other would secure the bride and groom’s get-way without them being torn apart by eager persons yearning for the same blessings.