Are you in the Bitch Pit?

Why a ‘pit’ you may ask? Why not a line, a box, maybe even a cage? Depending on your reaction to this title, the ‘container’ of your preference would say a lot about your perception of other women and yourself, and also your experiences with the word bitch. Have you been called a bitch? Have you called yourself a bitch? Were you called that to your face, or you suspect behind your back? Were you called that in anger, fun, jest or admiration? Was it in the home, workplace or social setting?

To answer the first question; pit means an area that would be avoided, that also if you’re not looking at what you’re doing, you could simply fall in, or maybe be shoved into. Did you dig it yourself or is it a trap that you use as a defence mechanism for others to fall in, if they attempt to trespass, or is it a snare you use to catch your prey?

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By: Anika Repole Wilson (Originally Published on: Laptops & Lattes)

When Missy Elliot’s, “She’s a Bitch” came out I jammed to that song, many times driving, windows down, braking to the beat. How about the song, ‘Bitch’ by Meredith Brooks? This is admittedly one of my favourite karaoke choices. Now look at the lyrics. Here is Missy’s:

She's a bitch

When you say my name

Talk mo' junk but won't look my way

She's a bitch

See I got more cheese

So back on up while I roll up my sleeves

[1] - She's a bitch…

 

Let’s look on Meredith’s:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover

I'm a child, I'm a mother

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint

I do not feel ashamed

I'm your hell, I'm your dream

I'm nothing in between

You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Both songs show some level of defence, but Missy’s suggests her bitchiness is provoked (calling up her name, as a result of her success not to mention the need to back up while she rolls up her sleeves). Meredith’s seems more like a self-proclamation, yet it also is a bit of self-reassurance that her behaviour is justified, because it’s who she is and ‘you wouldn’t want it any other way’. But what if I did, what if he did, what if her co-workers did?

Now I’m not saying anything is necessarily wrong with being a bitch. Back on up girls, I got my bitch mittens too, usually for 4 – 6 days of the month, which let’s just say I would also want to avoid myself. Or if someone oversteps the boundaries with my family, some friends (ya I said it - some), my time, ethics and the principles I’m discovering – as Thomas Paine so eloquently puts it; “One cannot make principles, one can only discover them.” But I digress.

Here’s my point, without mincing words, how often have you been an uncalled-for bitch? No honestly, how often and don’t tell me you haven’t because it’s a (drumroll) … PIT. See I’m giving you an out – you could have simply fallen in. Were you shoved in? Did someone make you like this? Yup getting touchy here.

But ‘Having it All’ doesn’t mean you need to be a bitch to get there! Now chances are if you have lady parts in your nether regions and are a strong willed, determined woman you would be called a bitch at some point right? You’ve also had to do some things to ensure your survival in the work place, which you hope the karma wheel doesn’t come around and kick you in the butt for. I’m saying it, I’ve done that, things I’m not proud of – but I won’t do it again, regardless of the so called price. Here’s why…

Before true patriarchal society, now I’m talking WAY back, women were seen as equals. The lines get blurred as to what affected the change from a more matriarchal or at least balanced society to what we have now. Some would argue, the advent of religion helped and the story of Eve – that bitch screwed it for us all (ok I didn’t really mean that, just making sure you’re paying attention). How about this? Do you know the story of Lilith, Adam’s first wife (do your research on this one). Let’s just say that Lilith wasn’t able to be controlled, she gave poor Adam a hard time and ‘God’ punished Lilith by making her wander the earth as part beast.

It was also made superstition that she would rob babies from their cribs to steal their youth, she would also seduce men, and for that matter, women in their sleep - the advent of the witch. Oh my, now look on that, what does the word ‘witch’ rhyme with?! We are not pointing fingers on Eve, Lilith or religion for that matter, but regardless of what caused society to change, there became an archetypal image of the strong willed, defiant woman to be looked on as a monster. However, if we are truly honest with ourselves we will realise that far too often, we ARE monsters - to our men, our children, each other, our co-workers and the list goes on.

The First Nations people, Natives of the various continents, practiced something called Moon Hutting. During a woman’s menstruation, when she saw her moon, she and other menstruating women would be carried to the Moon Huts (this sounds horrible doesn’t it?). Well these women were not segregated, they were included in all festivities, in daily practices, but they were excluded from spiritual practices with the rest of the tribe/village.

Why? Well, because a woman during her moon is at her most powerful and her magic, if not harnessed and controlled, by herself can affect the entire tribe. The Moon Huts were created for the nurturing and teaching of young women by the more mature women. They taught the girls how to harness their magic, how to contain their abilities for the purposes of it being to the betterment of the woman herself and the tribe as a whole. The older women taught her how to be powerful, without abusing her power. As each woman learned, she would then become teacher and assist in the conjuring of positive energy for a prosperous harvest and a peaceful and happy moon cycle for her tribe.

What about the men you may ask? Well the men had ‘Hunter’s Huts’ but guess what, the women were included, if she was good with a bow or knife. The men however were never included in the Moon Huts, the belief being that the combined women’s magic would be too powerful for him to withstand, so they stayed away for their own protection.

Now think about that for a minute. How are we helping each other as women? How are we harnessing our own magic and power? Are we abusing our feminine essence, are we abusing others with it for that matter? Why not embrace your Sacred Feminine power and be more of a mother, a maiden or the wise crone in the home, in the club, in the office rather than the bitch? Think about it.