It was one of those epic days. A regular Wednesday that had been preceded by an average Tuesday. Tuesday night’s musings sounded so optimistic!
Ok, tomorrow I’m going to wake up early, make baby’s porridge, head out before the traffic hits and make it to the office in time to print the documents for my 9am meeting so my boss won’t even know I didn’t leave them on his desk from tonight.
Ah Tuesday if only you knew.
Wednesday morning dawned and appeared to be normal. What did I do? Miss the alarm. Yup, so I woke up late. Baby woke up miserable from teething. Made the porridge and watched the slow motion action of the entire pot falling off the stove. Cleaned up. Made the porridge again. No time for breakfast: grab a Malta and rushed to the car… The car that decided it was not going into reverse today. Fiddled with car (read: curse, pray, plead, slam the lever back and forth from park to reverse until the transmission engaged). Finally got it moving and head out: into traffic. One hour into the should-be-20-minute commute I got cut off by a CUR, slammed on my brakes and the entire bottle of Malta overturns directly into my company issued laptop. I pull off the road to clean it up, salvage it as best I could. Called my boss, called the mechanic, skipped the meeting, went straight to the mechanic where he promptly told me he can’t take the car till Monday and I should budget J$100,000 to get it fixed. Like what the actual F!!! Got to my desk and realized meeting ended, nobody took notes so there are things to be done but nobody knows for sure what to do and who is responsible. Took two pointless phone calls and realized I’m still in crazy mode (I literally told a manager who asked me a dumb question “how are your parents? When was the last time you visited them?”).
I fight to centre myself. Shake this mood, shift my energies so I can make it through the rest of the day without committing murder… because I have a kid, and moms who murder are frowned upon. I go to the bathroom and stretch, whisper my gratitude affirmations “I am grateful for my job, I’m grateful I’m alive; Im grateful for my child”… They. Are. Not. WORKING. I pop in my earphones to do a quick meditation… Nothing: I’ve used up all my data and there’s no wifi on the building. Sigh
As I walk out of the bathroom still seething about my stress level the midday news is on the television and every story is about devastation: earthquakes, hurricanes, Donald Trump. It suddenly strikes me that I have a choice. I can dwell on my issues which felt overwhelming only seconds ago or I can pause, take a deep breath, find one positive thing to hold on to and start all over again. Just one thing. It doesn’t have to be a huge, life altering thing. It doesn’t have to be the things that interviews with Oprah are made of. It doesn’t have to be spiritual and high level. It doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone else. It just has to be enough to hold on to, just to get you through the next moment.
I’m sitting at my desk. 1:22pm, as I sip my coffee I realize, in this moment I’m truly grateful for Coffee and that’s ok.
Natalie is passionate about learning and believes she should leave everyone she encounters a little better off; so she brings love, light and good juju wherever she goes. Managing Partner for NC3 Events, mother to one, friend to many, she fiercely defends the 'no-judgement zones' she creates for her loved ones. She loves to read; and so she writes.
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