 Dear Single Mom,
After 14 hours of labour, 3 years of toddler tantrums and 26-hour workdays, you thought you could handle anything. Until Covid-19 happened. That’s when the soiled diaper hit the fan. Everything suddenly became - more. Now the precious toddler is home – all day, demanding at least 80 per cent of your time and energy. The other 20 per cent is reserved for the work from home order from your boss and there is housework that will need at least 50 per cent (yes, this is Mom Math). You can’t remember the last time you just took a deep breath, called a friend to cry or did anything that you enjoy. I understand how you feel and am happy to tell you that you’re not alone. It’s single mothers like you that inspired us to develop a three-part live video series called The Brunswick MOM Show. It’s an ongoing discussion about tools that will help you: · Survive the COVID-19 madness as a single mother · Enjoy being around your kids all day · Acknowledge your dreams and start loving yourself (again) We invited three single moms who are using these tools to create massive changes in their lives and families. They were Trishan Haughton, Advanced teacher of therapeutic yoga, Rochelle Mitchell, PR and Social Media Specialist and Simone McFarlane, Business Development Manager at Brunswick Jamaica. So let’s talk Mindfulness, Openness and Momentum.
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 For the past few days, more like weeks, I have been operating in a haze. Has that ever happened to you? You are completing tasks, doing what needs to be done, for the most part keeping yourself and those in your immediate care alive. You are functioning, but under a fog. You lack depth. You know you are on a surface level. Your thoughts have taken hold of the crevices of your brain, choking your motivation. You feel like you are giving your ‘best effort’. You are at ‘just barely’ or ‘this is enough’ There are many things responsible for me and this ‘cloud of nothingness’. And I use the word ‘nothingness’ loosely, because it is everything BUT nothing. Just when I muster enough courage to raise my leg to cross one hurdle successfully, the distance to the other is so short that I barely have enough room to raise the other leg before I am kicking into and stumbling through the race with a hurdle caught between my ankles, while trying to keep my kids above ground, my marriage nurtured, my mother attended to, my family proud of me, and my life purpose or what I deem to be my life’s purpose sparkling among so many other things. It is exhausting. It is spirit crushing. So how do we deal? ASK FOR HELP Women everywhere and in every species have existed in a tribe since the beginning of time. We are stronger together. No mom is an island. As mothers we fall into this rhetoric that we must become beasts of burdens, giving every ounce of ourselves as this testament of our sacrificial love and dedication. And by all means, love your children until your very last day but stay close to those who want to see YOU at your best. It is ok to need help juggling all the plates that are thrust upon us on our motherhood journey. Find your tribe and speak up. A huge part of accessing help is seeking therapy, a professional who can advise you on effective strategies or medication if ever you feel like you cannot conquer the fog on your own. BECOME SELF-AWARE The less I try to ‘fight my feelings’ I am better able to move through. I know that sounds counterproductive. But embrace where you are in those moments. TAKE CARE OF YOU I cannot stress enough how important self care is. YOU matter first, and I do not mean that in a selfish way. It means that for your family to be at their best, YOU need to be your best. Self care comes in different forms, because it is as unique as our personalities and it is whatever makes YOU feel good. If you like getting your nails and hair done, then set that appointment as frequently as needed. Go to the spa. Or do an at home facial, give yourself a pedicure. If you like quiet afternoons, arrange appropriate child care and take yourself to a quiet café or the beach and bask in some silence. Or start your day with a 15 minute meditation routine. Take up that gym membership. Get into yoga. Do you like to journal? Or enjoy a cup of tea that you do not have to reheat? Whatever you have to do to rejuvenate yourself: schedule YOU because you matter. AFFIRMATIONS There is something comforting about consciously slowing my breaths and repeating something positive about myself or my situation. I admit, sometimes I feel like I have to “fake it to make it” but eventually it puts me in a better mood, clears the fog enough so that I can decide on what I can control and find a resolution. Some of my go-to affirmations are:-
 Let us go be the awesome mothers we know that we are, and if ever you find yourself overwhelmed by the responsibilities of the job, I hope you can find comfort in one or all of the strategies. Light & Blessings to you. Let us go be the awesome mothers we know that we are, and if ever you find yourself overwhelmed by the responsibilities of the job, I hope you can find comfort in one or all of the strategies. Light & Blessings to you.  |
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